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Original Cow Not In Jail Not In A Mental Hospital Not In A Grave Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Sale price
$23.94
Regular price
$31.94
Made-to-Order Graphic Apparel — Bold & Comfortable
Not to be dramatic, but this might be the upgrade your wardrobe’s been waiting for. Premium Gildan® fabric, fade-proof DTG print, and a fit that feels like it was made for you.
📸 Mockup is a tee — but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.
Why You’ll Love It
- 🎨 Studio-Grade Print — Eco-friendly DTG ink that bonds permanently. No cracking, no flaking, period.
- 🧵 Skin-Friendly & Soft — OEKO-TEX certified Gildan® fabric. No harsh chemicals, just pure comfort.
- 👕 Comfort First, Always — Taped neck, reinforced shoulders, tear-away tag. Built for all-day wearability.
- 🇺🇸 Sustainably Sourced — US Cotton Trust Protocol. From farm to fabric — responsible at every step.
Fabric Breakdown
- T-Shirt (5.3 oz) & Long Sleeve (6 oz): 100% cotton — airy, comfortable, all-season wear.
- Crewneck & Hoodie: 50/50 blend at 8 oz — pill-resistant fleece with spandex ribbing.
- Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.
Size & Color Options
Not sure about sizing? Check our charts below:
Available Colors
White
Black
Sand
Sport Grey
Navy
Light Pink
Royal
Pepper
Dark Heather
Forest Green
Light Blue
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27.95 in (71 cm) | 36.22 in (92 cm) | 33.46 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29.13 in (74 cm) | 40.16 in (102 cm) | 35.04 in (89 cm) |
| L | 29.92 in (76 cm) | 44.09 in (112 cm) | 36.61 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31.1 in (79 cm) | 48.03 in (122 cm) | 38.19 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 31.89 in (81 cm) | 51.97 in (132 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33.07 in (84 cm) | 55.91 in (142 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 33.86 in (86 cm) | 59.84 in (152 cm) | 38.98 in (99 cm) |
Tap a style above to view its chart. Measured laid flat.
- Review the color & size charts.
- Select your preferred options.
- Place your order — easy as 1-2-3.
When Will It Arrive?
- ✅ Crafted in: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 Standard US: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ Express US: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 International: 7–14 business days.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
🛒 Head to inknestwear.com for more. Quality prints. Premium fabric. Happy customers.